Have you ever been out with your friends and have one of your friends get irritated with someone and instigate a confrontation with someone else? I know I have, and so has this person, who wrote to me this question:
Sifu, how should I respond when I’m out and a friend of mine instigates a fight, and I have to defend myself and my friends?
Let’s look at three basic things to help you in this situation:
1.) Controlling your state of be-ing. Not to sound all Kwai Chang Caine, but your state of be-ing in those situations will dictate what you are able and unable to do. And, one of the first opportunities you may have to defend yourself and your friend is to defuse the situation; in other words, calm your friend (and the other person) down before the physical violence starts.
2.) Establishing your distance. Another opportunity you will have (in the right state of be-ing) is to create your distance in relation to the threats around you and your friends, and create your boundaries. By doing this, you will often eliminate your opponent’s ability to sucker-punch you. (They’ll have to be more honest about their intention and cross your wall, making it more difficult for them to strike you or your friends.) Sometimes, when performed with calm reasoning, you may defuse the situation. Where you don’t, you will be in a good state and place to defend yourself.
3.) Always respond with the most efficient and effective action. This may sound like common sense, but many who come into my school don’t know what that is. Most have never been in a confrontation like this, so their ability to express efficient and effective intentions are limited, at best. This is where training is important under the guide of someone with the ability to put you in those positions. By training in those positions you’ll be better equipped to remain composed and respond effectively.
One more thing on taking action: Don’t strike once and let your guard down, and never under-estimate the person in front of you. Deal with what you have to in that moment, and relentlessly express your intentions to end the confrontation.
If you’re of right character, your actions will not come back to haunt you. If you are not, . . . . . . . .
Empower yourself to life!™
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